Legacy Giving: How to Talk About Gifts in Wills

Short answer: a gift in a will is usually the largest donation a person will ever make to you, and the reason most charities never receive one is simply that they never mention it. Not because the topic is forbidden, but because it feels awkward - it touches death, family, and money all at once, and nobody wants to seem like they are hovering. So the subject never comes up, loyal supporters who would gladly have remembered you never think of it, and the gift goes elsewhere or nowhere. Your job here is much smaller and gentler than it sounds. You are not writing anyone's will and you are certainly not advising them on it - that belongs to a qualified solicitor. You are simply making sure the people who already love your work know that this is possible, and that it would matter enormously. Here is how to raise it decently.

Understand what you are actually asking for

First, be clear about the nature of this gift, because it is unlike every other ask you make. A gift in a will costs the donor nothing today. It does not compete with their monthly donation or this year's appeal - it comes from what remains after a life, once the people they love have been looked after. That means the person who leaves you a legacy is often not wealthy at all. They are frequently the quiet, faithful supporter who gave modest amounts for twenty years and never appeared on anyone's major donor list.

That reframing matters for two reasons. It stops you rationing the conversation to a handful of rich people, and it tells you who to actually talk to: the loyal, the long-standing, the ones who genuinely care - people you have already been looking after through good donor retention. It also changes the emotional register. This is not a transaction. Someone is deciding what their life should keep doing after they are gone, and choosing to include you in that is an act of extraordinary trust. Treat the whole subject with the weight that deserves.

Stay firmly on your side of the line

Now the boundary that keeps this both ethical and safe, and it is not a technicality. Wills are legal documents, and how an estate is treated is a matter of law and tax that differs by country and changes over time. You are a charity communicator. You are not a solicitor, a tax adviser, or an estate planner, and you must not act like one - even when a supporter asks you directly and would be perfectly happy for you to answer.

So draw the line clearly and stand on it. Your role is to raise the subject, explain why it matters to your cause, and make it easy for someone to find proper help. Their role, with a qualified solicitor or professional adviser, is everything else: drafting, wording, structure, tax, and how it all fits with their family. When someone asks you what they should do, the right answer is warm and short - "that is exactly the kind of question your solicitor should answer for you, and we would never want to get in the way of that." Never suggest specific wording as advice, never comment on how a gift would be taxed, never involve yourself in someone's family arrangements, and never, ever be present or involved in the making of a will. Say plainly and often that people should take independent professional advice. This is not just prudence - it protects the donor, and it protects you from any suggestion that you influenced someone's decisions.

Raise it gently, and more than once

The practical question is how to bring it up without seeming ghoulish, and the answer is that gentle repetition beats one dramatic ask. Most people who leave charitable gifts in wills say nobody asked them - they simply happened to think of it. So your task is mostly to be present in the mind of someone who is already writing or updating their will, which happens at ordinary moments: a new grandchild, a house move, retirement, a friend's death.

That means the subject should appear regularly and lightly rather than once and loudly. A short, honest line in your newsletter now and then. A quiet, permanent page on your website. A sentence in your annual review. A gentle note that some supporters choose to remember the charity in their will, and that if they ever consider it, it would mean a great deal - alongside a clear suggestion to speak to their solicitor. No urgency, no pressure, no deadline, because there cannot honestly be one. Just a steady, dignified reminder that the option exists.

Use language that respects the person

The words you choose do most of the work here, and the tone is everything. Talk about what continues rather than what ends: a gift that keeps your work going, support that outlasts a lifetime, a way of passing on what you cared about. Avoid the two failure modes - the funereal, which is depressing, and the euphemistic, which is slippery. Plain, warm, honest language sits between them.

Two principles keep the tone right. First, always put family first, explicitly. Say out loud that people should look after the people they love before they think of you, and that even a small share of what is left makes a real difference. Supporters relax when they hear this, because their private fear is that you want them to choose you over their children. Second, never manufacture urgency or guilt. Any hint of pressure around a will is not only distasteful, it is genuinely dangerous - it edges toward influencing a vulnerable person's decisions, which can call the gift and your integrity into question. Invite; never push. And make it easy to walk away from the conversation with no awkwardness at all.

Make the information easy to find

Once people are open to the idea, remove the friction. Most supporters do not know the first thing about how this works, and confusion quietly kills good intentions. So give them a simple, honest page - what a gift in a will is in plain English, why it matters to your cause, what it has made possible before, your charity's full legal name and registration number so their solicitor can identify you correctly, and a clear, repeated pointer to take independent professional advice.

Be genuinely useful without straying over the line. Pointing someone toward a qualified solicitor is helpful; telling them what to write is not. Providing your correct legal details so their adviser can do their job is helpful; sitting in on that conversation is not. If you offer any suggested wording at all, make it clear it is only for their solicitor to consider and adapt, never a substitute for advice - and check the current requirements where you operate, because what is appropriate differs by country. Then give people a human way to talk to you if they want to, without any obligation. Some will want a quiet conversation; many will simply act without ever telling you, which is fine.

Look after the people who tell you

Finally, the part almost everyone forgets. When someone does tell you they have remembered you in their will, that is the beginning of a relationship, not the end of a transaction - and it may be twenty years before the gift arrives. Thank them properly and personally, the way you would thank someone who had just made the largest gift of their life, because they have. Then keep them close.

Stay in touch as you would with any cherished supporter: show them the work, invite them to things, tell them the truth about how it is going, remember them by name. This is exactly the patient, human care that major donor relationships run on, and it is not manipulation - it is the natural response to someone who has made an enormous commitment to your cause. Two things to hold onto. Never treat a pledge as money in the bank; circumstances change, people are entitled to change their minds, and a will can be rewritten. And when the time eventually comes, handle it with grace and care for the family, who are grieving a person, not processing a donation. Do all this well and you build something quietly extraordinary: a group of supporters whose belief in your work will outlive them.

Frequently asked questions